InSidE oUt

Was wondering why I abandoned this blog in the first place. Decided to visit and here I am.

I really have loads of things to do. Like study for instance. WordPress has changed a lot since the last time i saw. I like it. Seems more user friendly.

Its going to be 2 years since I started working and I still feel like a total beginner. Is it normal? Especially with all this recession talk. One cant help but wonder. Managers talking about upgrades, up-skill, certifications, “stretch”. Is it really worth all that? Its easy for me to say this coz maybe I dont have all that much to lose. I have a family who will still take me back in. What about the newly weds? The ones who have taken huge loans for their houses? The ones supporting a LARGE family? God provides I know. But it still is scary.

I was amazed at myself.

Reasoning sometimes leads us away from what we are looking for. If we allow it, it slowly and steadily creeps into the very essence of life. We begin to look for reasons in every area of life we go through. We look for logic. When we don’t find it we trash the subject in question as “baseless” and “loose”.

Last week, at Elevate, I got to watch a video of the How Great is Our God Tour by Louie Giglio. He spoke about how awesome, magnificient and HUGE our God is. I will dilute the entire message if I try to condense it into this post. Check out the video on youtube. I think its in 15 parts. Or better yet, try and get ur hands on it somehow. The realisation of how GREAT this BIG God of mine is has brought about a complete change in the way I look at things. Not only does it make me feel small, but there comes this feeling of security despite the feeling of insignificance. I am little with the universe as the point of reference. Yes! But this BIG God who created this universe we are talking about, loves me. WOW!

But now coming back to the subject of this post. Why?? What could be the reason behind this love.

I have 2 choices before me. Either I begin to speculate this love and look for a rock solid justification(logical reason) or I simply accept it and spare myself the effort of stretching my imagination beyond its capacity. I choose the latter(after innumerous unsuccessful attempts at the former). I dont understand it. But I believe it. I know it. I have felt it.

That doesn’t mean that the awe and wonder is any lesser. I still wonder just as the psalmist did….

“Who is man that You are mindful of him” Psalms 8:4

I have been reading(trying to understand) Ecclesiastes for over a month now. Not entirely because it is difficult. I have not been as regular as I would like to be. Through all the finicky cynicism, I decided I need to read something else for a while. So I moved on to Psalms. And here I am finding myself lost in this amazing book. It brought about such a pleasant change at just the right time. It was like after being subject to a claustrophobic room for a long time and being let free into this beautiful open garden. I have nothing against Solomon. I have even started liking Ecclesiastes through this past month. But it just got me thinking. King David would make an amazing blogger, whose blog I would definitely be subscribing to. A blog so passionate, so personal, so honest, so intimate, so beautiful and so real, so much of variety. Makes me long to reach that point. I want that. Not as a blog. But my life.

ITs here again!!! And I am home!

Love it. Totally. So many people at home. Its a nice feeling. Ammamma, Ashok uncle and family. The kids are soooo cute.

The pessimistic part of me cant help to think about 2 days hence when I will be on the train back to bangalore. Trying so hard not to let that thought stop me from enjoying the little time I have at home.

Am bloggin from office

haha..

I know it makes absolutely no sense in any for…. but i like the feeling!

Am being moved from testing to development. Yipee!! Yipee!!

So much to learn. So much to understand. A lil scared.

But am so amazed at how marvellous and beyond my imagination God is. He even fulfills these little desires that bring us bouts of joy.

And its christmas season!!! Cant wait to go home

Read this amazing article by Ravi Zachariah. It took me a while to finish it. So I urge u to read it whenever u have time. It gives an insight into the level of cultural deterioration we have landed ourselves into, so gradually, that the severity of the consequences are going unnoticed and ironically even questioning its occurance is considered foolish.

Here’s a little something that I particularly liked. “Hitting the nail on the head” kinda thing.

“First dentistry was painless.
Then bicycles were chainless,
Carriages were horseless,
And many laws enforceless.

Next cookery was fireless,
Telegraphy was wireless,
Cigars were nicotineless,
And coffee caffeineless.

Soon oranges were seedless,
The putting green was weedless,
The college boy was hatless,
The proper diet fatless.

New motor roads are dustless,
The latest steel is rustless,
Our tennis courts are sodless,
Our new religion–godless.”
(Arthur Guiterman, “Gaily the Troubadour”)

Home is Home. Wherever it is. Last year it was vizag, now its cochin. Have come to terms with it. I don’t bear a grudge against this place anymore. It somehow faded away. I didn’t conciously attempt it, just happened. But I still LOVE vizag.

Yipeeeeee!!! I got paid and I have a day off tomorrow. Thats a combo even Mc Donald’s Combos falls short off.

No specific agenda for the month but just feels so good knowing there is money in the account.  

I promise not to rite a post about this issue for a loooong time. Atleast not till the end of the month